Best Fifteen Minutes: Be a Leader Who Can Receive Encouragement
Good leaders still need encouragement and correction. Give the people you lead room to speak, and show them that you are willing to listen.
#353 — Best Fifteen Minutes
Dec 16, 2024
Play the original Excel Still More episode here without leaving the article.
Can someone encourage you?
It's often easier to urge someone else to do better than to hear the same encouragement ourselves. A parent or teacher can recognize another person's potential while resisting a request for greater care. A leader may hear a challenge as criticism of his authority before considering whether it contains the help he needs.
During the 2024 Big Ten championship game, Oregon receiver Tez Johnson asked coach Dan Lanning for his best fifteen minutes. The coach received that encouragement appreciatively. There's something worth learning when a person being led helps the leader give his best. The point isn't a football technique or a guarantee that encouragement wins a game. It's the possibility that someone under your leadership can care enough to help you lead more faithfully.
Don't mistake every challenge for disrespect
A request for your attention doesn't mean you have never tried. A concern about one decision doesn't mean someone has rejected everything you have done. When we treat every challenge that way, we make helpful communication difficult. People may learn to keep quiet about a problem until it has become much harder to address, because earlier efforts were received as disrespect.
Proverbs 12:15 says the wise listen to advice. Help can come from someone younger than us or someone who doesn't hold our position. Examine the words, the concern, and the manner honestly. Sometimes a message is unfair and needs a clear response; sometimes its delivery needs improvement while its substance remains useful. A leader can address an inappropriate tone without dismissing a valid concern. Authority is better served by accurate judgment than by the reflex to defend it against every question. If the manner truly needs correction, separate it from the useful concern. You might say that you're willing to discuss the decision and would like both of you to speak respectfully. Then return to the question instead of making the entire exchange about your authority. That response gives the person a way to speak better while still being heard.
Let people see you learning
I remember my mother explaining that she was learning as she raised me. Honesty like that can help a child see the real person carrying the responsibility. Pretending to possess perfect understanding doesn't make the parent more trustworthy. It can make mistakes harder to admit when everyone already knows they have occurred.
We should share that honesty in ways a child can carry. Adult burdens still need adult help, but admitting a wrong word or a mistaken assumption can teach humility. Tell the people you lead that their observations matter. When they offer useful help, acknowledge it specifically. The words make participation possible, and your response shows whether the invitation was sincere. A simple apology can be especially helpful when your mistake affected someone with less authority. Tell a child that interrupting was wrong, or tell a coworker that you made a decision without hearing information they tried to share. Don't require them to reassure you before you'll correct it. Let them see that admitting an error leads to better conduct.
Listen before the crisis
Trust grows in the conversations that seem small. A child telling you about his day is learning whether you want to hear him. An employee may describe a difficulty that's easy to overlook from another position. If such conversations are routinely interrupted or dismissed, the person is less likely to speak freely when a serious concern arises. Attention builds trust before the urgent moment arrives.
James 1:19 asks us to listen quickly and speak slowly. Let someone finish, ask about what you don't understand, and resist turning every account into your own story. You don't have to agree with every conclusion to recognize the concern. In a family, listening can reveal a fear beneath resistance or an unmet need beneath frustration. That understanding doesn't remove the need for correction, but it can help the correction address the real issue rather than only the visible reaction.
Hear people before deciding
When there's time, ask what others have noticed before announcing your decision. People may keep valuable observations to themselves once they think you have already settled the matter. Ask which concerns people carry and what information you may be missing. Then make the decision your role requires, informed by what you have learned.
There will be times when a leader needs to give immediate direction. Listening well doesn't mean taking a vote on every responsibility or making every preference a rule. Explain the reason for the decision when appropriate, especially if it differs from what someone requested. The person may still be disappointed, but he can see that his concern was heard. A thoughtful explanation often serves trust better than the assumption that authority needs no further words. Before a discussion, explain whether you're seeking information, considering options, or announcing a responsibility already decided. That clarity protects people from thinking they're being consulted when the decision is closed. When a suggestion changes your mind, acknowledge the help. People learn that speaking thoughtfully is worth the effort when the leader can receive an idea without needing to claim it first.
Live the character you teach
Our example can argue against our instructions. If we demand calm while shouting, the people listening have to decide which lesson we're really teaching. The question isn't whether a leader ever fails. It's whether he takes responsibility for the failure and continues pursuing the character he teaches.
Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21 warn fathers against provoking and discouraging their children. First Peter 5:2–3 tells elders to lead willingly by example rather than by domination. The roles differ, but each passage gives authority a responsibility toward the people affected by it. Let them see patient listening, a truthful apology, and the willingness to act on good counsel. A correction can become a valuable example when you receive it with the same humility you hope another person will show.
Learn leadership from Jesus
In Mark 10:42–45, Jesus teaches his followers to lead through service. He came to serve and give his life as a ransom for many. His authority isn't uncertain, yet his exercise of it is marked by self-giving care. Christian leadership should receive its character from Him rather than from the desire to make everyone feel the weight of our position.
Christ's humility in Philippians 2 and his obedience in Hebrews 5:8–9 show us the costly service of our sinless Savior. He leads us toward giving ourselves for others. A leader can ask whether his next response will help another person grow or merely make questioning him less comfortable. Service gives strength a purpose beyond protecting its own importance.
Give the next person your attention
You probably won't be coaching a championship game today. But someone may need the kind of attention that makes an ordinary conversation important. Begin by setting aside the assumption that the request itself is an insult. Consider whether this is an opportunity to give your best care. If you're distracted when the person approaches, don't pretend you're giving attention while looking elsewhere. Ask for a moment to finish what requires care, then turn toward them. A short conversation with real attention may accomplish more than a long one in which the listener keeps having to compete with your phone or your next task.
Ask what the person means and respond to the concern itself. When someone has made the effort to raise a matter appropriately, let your response show that you value it. If you were wrong, make the correction plain. These choices don't guarantee that everyone will respect every decision, but they make your leadership more credible and useful. The strongest example may be the way you receive help. People learn something about humility when the person responsible for leading them demonstrates that he still knows how to listen.
Take the idea with you.
- 01Who might be hesitant to raise a concern with me?
- 02How can I show the people I lead that their observations matter?
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