How the Five Love Languages Can Improve Your Relationships
And just to be clear, while I'll be giving you a synopsis of that book today and challenging you in very specific ways as it relates to the five love languages, I highly recommend that you get the book and read it if you want in-depth…
Notice what happens between people
And just to be clear, while I'll be giving you a synopsis of that book today and challenging you in very specific ways as it relates to the five love languages, I highly recommend that you get the book and read it if you want in-depth analysis of each one of these categories. so I recommend today that you find a sheet of paper and a pencil so that you can write some of this down today.
Maybe you can write down the five love languages if you aren't familiar, and there are a couple of exercises at the end where you will need to make some notes.
Listen beneath the surface
I will keep devaluing her when she tries to show love for me but it doesn't align with what I prefer. I determine my primary and secondary love language, it makes the most sense to me, and I determine that everybody else must have that exact same list.
So in particular, in my marriage, if I choose physical touch and quality time as my number one and number two ways of showing love, those are the only two ways I will show love to my spouse I'm projecting.
Choose a better response
So if you think that his ladies, you think that his primary language are words of affirmation, then sit down and tell him how important he is to you and communicate with words your meaning. If you think that her number one way of receiving love is through the reception of a gift, then go find something thoughtful, something that you know that she would love and catch her by surprise with it.
Go ahead and make this two separate events when you display what you think is her number one or his number one, and then also when you put on display the secondary love language that you've chosen.
Practice it in real life
Words of affirmation about how great she is, me doing something that services a need that she might have, giving her a gift, just taking her out to dinner or sitting down for a conversation, or maybe even a warm embrace, like we used to do all the time when she was little. It would be a mistake for me as a parent, number one, to ignore all that and just let these years fly by, not worried about whether or not she knows I love her.
Secondly, it would be a mistake for me to decide how she receives love and then limit myself to only those things.
Take the idea with you.
- 01Where does the central idea of “How the Five Love Languages Can Improve Your Relationships” show up most clearly in my life right now?
- 02What does this episode call me to believe, stop, start, or handle differently?
- 03What is one specific action I can take today instead of merely agreeing with the idea?
Listen to the original episode
This article was adapted from Episode 58 · Five Love Languages. Continue with the podcast for the original teaching in Kris’s voice.
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