How to Compare Yourself Without Becoming Miserable
For instance, last week a group of guys and I were studying at the end of the Gospel of John, where Peter and Jesus are having a conversation before Jesus ascends to heaven, and Peter was in a good place with the Lord, and he knew…
Notice what happens between people
For instance, last week a group of guys and I were studying at the end of the Gospel of John, where Peter and Jesus are having a conversation before Jesus ascends to heaven, and Peter was in a good place with the Lord, and he knew what his mission was, but he just couldn't quite get John off his mind. So right in the middle of all of that, he points over to John and basically asks Jesus, What about this guy?
John had a special relationship with Jesus, the one whom Jesus loved, is the term that John uses in his letter.
Listen beneath the surface
If we're looking to people to make ourselves feel better by comparison, it will do a lot of the same things as the other end of the spectrum, it will distract us from who we are and who we can become, and it may strip us of the drive to get better. In fact, I would argue that if you just decide to not measure your faith or your friendships or your fitness or your finances against other people, don't measure it against more successful people, don't measure it against less successful people.
While that may keep you from jealousy and judgment, jealousy of those who are better, judgment against those who are worse, it probably won't drive you in the right direction.
Choose a better response
Whenever you see someone who is advanced from your position and you acknowledge that, there are probably some reasons for that that cannot be imitated. Maybe it was the family into which they were born, maybe it's just how the genetics worked out, maybe it's the person that they married, something like that, but be careful not to excuse all this away.
Because a closer examination will probably reveal there are habits in their life, approaches they are making that explain how they got there, that explain why they're teaching the classes, not sitting in the back hoping nobody calls their name.
Practice it in real life
So hey, if our heart is right and our intentions are pure and we're godly in our approach, let's give an old habit a new look. In the name of getting help and helping others, let's compare ourselves.
As always, please consider sharing this with people in your life who you think we can help.
Take the idea with you.
- 01Where does the central idea of “How to Compare Yourself Without Becoming Miserable” show up most clearly in my life right now?
- 02What does this episode call me to believe, stop, start, or handle differently?
- 03What is one specific action I can take today instead of merely agreeing with the idea?
Listen to the original episode
This article was adapted from Episode 68 · Let's Compare Ourselves. Continue with the podcast for the original teaching in Kris’s voice.
Explore books by Kris Emerson
Go beyond a single article with Christ-centered books and daily resources designed for Scripture, spiritual growth, and practical discipleship.