How to Have Better Conversations Without Making Them About You
Oftentimes the difference between one that feels great and one that feels wasted is on me, and maybe you can say the same. Also, even if it's the other person, somebody you work with, it's just a terrible conversationalist, somebody…
Notice what happens between people
Oftentimes the difference between one that feels great and one that feels wasted is on me, and maybe you can say the same. Also, even if it's the other person, somebody you work with, it's just a terrible conversationalist, somebody in your home or at church, the number one way that you affect change is by your behavior.
But you also may want to have a bit of a conversation about how to have better conversations, in which case I'm hoping that our imagery today will bring clarity to the points and maybe just something you can use to try to help other people.
Listen beneath the surface
The Bible in Philippians chapter two says, Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, verse three, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Now most people think that they don't violate this passage, but conversation is about the truest tell there is what people think about and talk about.
Choose a better response
He's expecting the other person to reach out and bump up that same balloon to keep the conversation going. The other person sometimes will just stare at that balloon until it falls all the way down to the floor, like it was a total waste of time and energy, step on that balloon, blow up their own, and toss it out into the middle.
There are some people who have trouble engaging in conversations if the topic was not their idea.
Practice it in real life
So listen, next time you're in a conversation with someone, whether it's our first example where you're sharing stories, our second example where you're dealing with a common theme, or our third example where you're rejoicing or weeping with someone who's emotionally engaged, just take a second and think about our imagery this week and try to be the best conversationalist you can. And I have to tell you, because I've been trying this, you might just get a little bit of entertainment out of imagining that you're conversing with balloons.
As always, please consider sharing this with people in your life who you think we can help.
Take the idea with you.
- 01Where does the central idea of “How to Have Better Conversations Without Making Them About You” show up most clearly in my life right now?
- 02What does this episode call me to believe, stop, start, or handle differently?
- 03What is one specific action I can take today instead of merely agreeing with the idea?
Listen to the original episode
This article was adapted from Episode 74 · Conversing with Balloons. Continue with the podcast for the original teaching in Kris’s voice.
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