J.O.Y. in Sequencing: Begin with Jesus, Then Consider Others
Begin with Jesus, consider the people affected, and give your own needs a faithful place. A change in sequence can change the way you answer everyday questions.
#369 — J.O.Y. in Sequencing - How the key to happiness is about Jesus, then others, then yourself.
Apr 7, 2025
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Which reason comes first?
Why am I a Christian? Why do I gather, show kindness, or resist impurity? My first answer may start with what I need or want. Those needs matter, but they don't have to remain the center. Those answers can be sincere and relevant. Yet they may leave the center of attention unchanged: everything is still being explained through what I receive. Faith becomes richer when we first remember the Lord we are responding to.
A discussion with college students helped me think about answering those questions in a different order: Jesus, others, then yourself. It is a useful exercise for the heart, not a required formula for every answer. Use the exercise to examine your heart. J.O.Y. is a simple way to remember the order. Colossians 1:15–20 provides the deeper basis by presenting Christ as Creator, sustainer, head, and reconciler. He deserves the first place because of who he is, not merely because an acronym is easy to remember.
Begin your faith with Jesus
Why follow Christ? Begin with Him. He gives Himself, rises, and supplies the hope sinners cannot create. Our response is personal because the Savior is worthy, not simply because some religious practices improve our routine. Christianity is not primarily an improvement program in which we select a few useful practices. It is a response to the Son of God. When that truth receives attention first, gratitude has a stronger foundation and obedience becomes more than a calculation of personal advantage.
Then think about people who helped you hear and people who still need the message. Finally, acknowledge your own need for forgiveness and hope. These reasons belong together when Jesus receives the first place. Their care deserves appreciation, while people who do not yet know Christ need the message you have received. You don't have to hide how deeply you need what the gospel offers; simply begin by honoring the Savior who offers it. These reasons need not compete. They find their proper relationship when Jesus remains central. We follow him because he is the faithful Savior, and his goodness then gives meaning to the relationships and needs we bring into the life of faith.
Bring a willing heart to assembly
Why gather with Christians? Begin with the Lord worthy of worship, remembrance, and obedience. His work brings us into a shared relationship, so the assembly means more than whether the experience fits our preferences. His teaching gives direction, and his saving work has brought people into a shared relationship under him. Starting there makes the purpose larger than whether the gathering suits our preferred style or feels immediately encouraging. Hebrews 10:23–25 connects holding hope with considering one another and assembling for encouragement. The relationship with Christ and the relationship among his people belong together.
Think next of someone your presence can encourage. Arrive ready to contribute through worship and care. Then receive instruction and fellowship yourself. Giving and receiving can deepen one another when we come with willing hearts. Listening, singing, and showing genuine care are ways to contribute rather than simply evaluate what you receive. Finally, recognize your own need for instruction and fellowship. That need is legitimate, and it may be met more deeply when you arrive ready to give as well as receive. A quiet person can participate sincerely, and illness or other limitations should be considered with care. Look for a willing heart rather than judging someone from appearances.
Let received mercy shape kindness
Why be kind to someone who has hurt you? Avoiding more trouble is a useful reason. Jesus gives a greater one: He has shown mercy to us and teaches us to respond with love. That is practical, but Jesus supplies a stronger reason. His example and teaching call us away from revenge and toward love. Ephesians 4:31–32 connects kindness, compassion, and forgiveness with the mercy God has shown in Christ. Received grace should shape the conduct we offer, including when the other person does not make that response easy.
Consider the other person's need for truth, repentance, and mercy. You may need a boundary or correction, and you can still seek their good. Then consider your own peace within the faithful response Jesus teaches. Those actions can be taken without wishing harm or using humiliation as a goal. Your own peace matters too, but it should grow through a willing response rather than becoming the justification for cruelty. The sequence helps interrupt the immediate question of what I feel like doing. It asks what honors Jesus, what genuinely serves the other person’s good, and then how I can respond with integrity within my own responsibilities.
Give purity a greater purpose
Why pursue purity? First Corinthians 6:18–20 begins with belonging to God. The life Christ purchases deserves to honor Him in the body. That gives resistance a deeper reason than protecting a reputation. Christ’s saving work gives the body dignity and purpose. Purity is therefore more than avoiding embarrassment or preserving a reputation. It is part of receiving the Lord’s authority over the life he has redeemed. That truth can strengthen resistance when secrecy makes an outward consequence seem unlikely.
Then remember the people affected. Nobody exists merely to satisfy someone else's desire. Personal consequences matter, too, but love and gratitude can direct us before the possibility of being caught makes a wrong feel costly. Present relationships, future responsibilities, and the trust of those near you all matter. Personal consequences also deserve attention, including the possibility of harmful habits or damaged confidence. Yet the strongest beginning remains Christ and the love his instruction requires. Do not wait until a wrong has become publicly costly before taking it seriously. Ask what encourages the desire, remove the access you can responsibly remove, and seek trustworthy help when needed. A grateful response to Jesus gives purity a purpose deeper than fear of being caught.
Give your own needs a wise place
Putting yourself after others doesn't mean your needs disappear. Jesus invites the apostles to rest in Mark 6:30–32. We can receive rest, seek protection, and acknowledge limits as part of faithfully carrying our responsibilities. A parent who never rests or a worker who promises more than can be sustained may eventually become less available to others. Humility is different from treating oneself as worthless or allowing another person to exploit a willing heart.
Philippians 2:3–8 teaches the attitude of Christ. It doesn't make you worthless. Ask what love requires across all your duties, including those already entrusted to you, instead of turning the exercise into a rigid demand. Ask what faithfulness requires across all your responsibilities, including duties that cannot be transferred to someone else. Sometimes a helpful response is an honest limit, a request for assistance, or a period of rest. The exercise helps when it moves us beyond immediate preference. Don't use it to ignore safety, wisdom, or responsibilities already in your care.
Practice the sequence with a real concern
Take one concern and walk through it slowly. What do Jesus' life and teaching say? Who else is affected and needs care? Then consider your own feelings and responsibilities within that wider view. Consider others: who is affected, what do they need, and what response would love require? You may find that the concern remains real but no longer fills the whole field of vision.
James 1:2–4 connects trials with endurance and growth. Difficulty doesn't suddenly feel good, but we can see beyond immediate discomfort. A problem may remain while our response becomes clearer and more faithful. The same movement can help with smaller daily frustrations. We need not pretend that every problem disappears when attention is reordered. We can expect the question to become clearer. Christ remains worthy, people remain valuable, and our own needs can receive a responsible place. Begin there, then take the next faithful step. Joy has a stronger foundation when the life being considered is larger than ourselves.
Take the idea with you.
- 01How would your answer change if you began with Jesus?
- 02Who needs the good your next decision could provide?
- 03Where do your own needs require wise care rather than neglect?
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