Parenting: Gifts, Arrows, and Olive Plants

Children Are Gifts to Be Cherished

Psalm 127:3 tells us, “Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” That's where we begin. Children are gifts from God. Not inconveniences or interruptions to our plans, but blessings entrusted to our care.

However, the fact that children are gifts from God doesn't mean they should take the place of God. Sometimes we become so consumed with providing for our children that we lose sight of what we're supposed to be providing.

We give them activities, entertainment, opportunities, possessions, and experiences. There's nothing inherently wrong with those things. But what if, in the process of giving our children everything we can, we fail to give them what matters most?

What if we provide every opportunity for athletic development but very little opportunity for spiritual development? What if we teach them the importance of achievement but fail to demonstrate the importance of faithfulness? Our responsibility isn't simply to make our children happy today. It's to prepare them for a lifetime of walking with God.

Children Are Arrows to Be Prepared

Psalm 127:4 continues, “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth.” I love that picture. Children are compared to arrows, and arrows have a purpose.

An arrow isn't designed to remain in the quiver forever. It must be prepared, aimed, and eventually released. That's parenting. We're not simply raising children to remain dependent upon us. We're preparing them to become adults who can make wise decisions, accept responsibility, and live faithfully before God.

That means we have to think beyond the immediate moment. Sometimes the easiest decision today creates a much more difficult situation tomorrow. It's easier to give in than to say no. Easier to avoid a difficult conversation than to have it. Easier to let a child determine the schedule than to insist that the family maintain its priorities.

But parenting isn't about choosing the easiest path. It's about preparing the arrow. Eventually, our children will make decisions without us. They'll encounter temptations, challenges, and opportunities we cannot control. The question is whether we've spent their childhood preparing them for those moments.

We aren't raising children merely to be successful. We're raising them to be faithful.

Children Are Olive Plants to Be Cultivated

Psalm 128:3 provides another beautiful picture: “Your children like olive plants around your table.” Olive trees don't become productive overnight. They require time, attention, nourishment, and care. Growth happens gradually, and fruitfulness comes through patient cultivation.

Isn't that a wonderful picture of parenting? We sometimes want immediate results. We correct a behavior and expect it never to happen again. We teach a lesson and assume our children have mastered it. But growth doesn't usually work that way.

Children need repeated instruction, consistent examples, correction, encouragement, patience, and love. Most importantly, they need an environment where faith is being lived, not merely discussed.

Think about the picture in Psalm 128. The children are growing around the table. They're close enough to observe their parents. They see how we speak to one another. They watch how we handle disappointment. They notice whether our faith actually affects our decisions. Are we creating an environment where our children can grow spiritually, or merely one where they can achieve, compete, perform, and succeed?

Children learn what matters by watching what matters to us.

Don't Let the Tail Wag the Dog

There's a real danger in allowing the desires and activities of our children to control the direction of the home. Parents are supposed to lead. That doesn't mean children shouldn't have a voice or that their interests are unimportant. Good parents make sacrifices for their children all the time.

But there's a difference between sacrificing for our children and surrendering the leadership of the home to our children. Consider the family schedule. Are worship and spiritual responsibilities the foundation around which everything else is arranged? Or do we fit those things into whatever time remains after practices, games, performances, and other activities?

What about behavior? Do we establish expectations and consistently reinforce them? Or do we allow our children's reactions to determine whether those expectations will be maintained?

The book of Proverbs repeatedly emphasizes the importance of parental instruction and correction. Consider Proverbs 1:8–9; 3:11–12; 13:24; 19:18; 22:6, 15; 23:13; and 29:17. These passages remind us that parenting requires more than affection. It requires instruction, loving discipline, consistency, and commitment.

Our goal isn't simply to produce children who obey while we're watching. It's to help them develop the wisdom and character to make good decisions when we're not around. That's preparing the arrow. That's cultivating the olive plant. And that's refusing to let the tail wag the dog.

Let the Lord Build the House

There's something important about the way these two psalms begin. Psalm 127 opens with the reminder, “Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” Psalm 128 begins, “How blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in His ways.”

Before we're told about children as gifts, arrows, and olive plants, we're reminded that God must be the foundation of the home. Our children need to see us praying, studying Scripture, worshiping faithfully, and treating others with kindness. They need to see us admitting our mistakes and making changes when we're wrong.

And they need to see that our commitment to God doesn't disappear when life becomes busy. Enjoy your children. Celebrate their accomplishments. Encourage their interests and help them develop their abilities. But never forget who's supposed to be leading the family or where you're supposed to be going.

The goal isn't simply to raise happy children. It's to raise children who know the Lord, love His ways, and are prepared to walk faithfully with Him.

What to Remember

Take a moment to evaluate your family's priorities. Look at your calendar, your conversations, and the things receiving the most attention. If something needs to change, start today.

And in whatever you do, Excel Still More!

• Children are gifts to be cherished. Receive them with gratitude, but never allow God's gifts to take the place of God Himself.
• Children are arrows to be prepared. Equip them for a future of faithful decisions, not merely immediate success.
• Children are olive plants to be cultivated. Spiritual growth requires patience, consistency, encouragement, and a godly environment.
• Parents must lead the home. Loving children doesn't mean allowing their preferences and activities to determine the family's priorities.
• The Lord must build the house. Establish a home where faith isn't merely taught but consistently lived.