The Character of Friendship: Being the Friend Others Need
A practical Christian study of “The Character of Friendship: Being the Friend Others Need,” with clear application for faith, relationships, and everyday life.
Character of Friendship
Play the original Excel Still More episode here without leaving the article.
See the people in front of you
Maybe you're someone who has some friendships, ones you've had for a really long time, and you can't even remember what made them work, but you've had difficulties expanding that into new relationships, and you're ready to grow closer with other people, maybe new people that you meet along the way, maybe you've joined a new church, whatever it might be, the same three qualities are here for you. And I think for me, most importantly, is the usage of these elements to improve cracked or broken friendships.
Maybe it is your marriage or your relationship with your kids or your parents or someone you've known for a long time, and it used to be an encouraging, uplifting connection, and lately it just hasn't been any of those things.
What gets in the way
Now, sure, he was surrounded by nature and animals, but not one other personality that carried the quality of the Godhead, a living soul with a consciousness and morality. And so that's why it says it's not good for man to be alone, and he gives him a woman, and they begin a family, and from there there are friendships, relationships, and connectivity for the rest of human existence, even up until today.
Keller argues, and I agree with him, that the concept of connectivity and friendship, reliability and sharing, and dependency on others for support has existed before man was even made.
A more loving response
It's really tough to build a friendship with someone when I don't know who I'm going to be standing next to from one week to another. I could tell you stories about people I've known in the past, even in the church, where I would go to one guy's house and he acted like he was going to beat me up if I didn't leave.
It just turns out that it just all depended on what day of the week you caught that guy and what had happened at work and whatever else was going on in his life.
Practice this with others
Now it's kind of opaque or foggy or maybe just walled up completely. If you want to rebuild a relationship, like maybe a marriage, at some point, as you are building on the first two things we talked about, you need to begin to reveal some things honestly about yourself, to confess some things that you want to change, to share some things that tell that person something about you that very few other people know.
And to push that even further, like level 10 friendship, is when you can even share critique of the other person and they will receive it well.
Take the idea with you.
- 01Where do I see the problem or opportunity described in “The Character of Friendship: Being the Friend Others Need” in my own life?
- 02What Scripture or spiritual principle in this study most needs my attention?
- 03What one specific change can I make this week to put this teaching into practice?
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